Manifestations of a Definitions of Parenting Alienation Syndrome

A syndrome is defined as a grouping of signs, based upon their frequent occurrence that may suggest a common underlying pathogenesis, course, familial pattern, or treatment selection (DSM 4th Edition, 1994). The syndrome identified by Gardner seeks to understand the progress of a child aligning with one parent against the other parent in a legal context.

PAS was first observed in children who had been involved in protracted custody litigation. Parental Alienation is now so common that manifestations of PAS were observed in approximately 90% of children involved in custody conflicts by the mid 1980’s (Gardner, 1992).

PAS vs Brainwashing

PAS is different from simple brainwashing, and the term PAS refers to a “disturbance in which the child is preoccupied with denigration and criticism of a parent.” (Gardner, 1992) The criticism and denigration of PAS and / or exaggerated. Gardner stated, “Brainwashing implies the one parent is systematically and consciously programing the child to denigrate the other” (Gardner, 1992 p. 64.). While the concept of PAS includes the brainwashing component, it is much more comprehensive. PAS includes not only conscious coercion, but “unconscious factors within the programing parent” which contributes to the child’s alienation from the alienated parent (Gardner 1992; 1998; 1999).   PAS emphasizes factors that arise within the child which are independent of the parental contributions that initiated the development of PAS. Clinical observations emphasized the combination of the child’s own scenarios of denigration of the alienated parent and the alienating parents programming. PAS is a term, which includes and encompasses both contributory factors of the child and the alienating parent.

PAS is not animosity that the child harbours against a parent who has actually abused the child. PAS will not be considered if the parent is found to neglectful and / or abusive. In such cases, it is appropriate for the child to want to cease contact with the abusing parent. “PAS is applicable only when [alienated] parent has not exhibited anything close to the degree of alienating behaviour that might warrant the campaign of denigration exhibited by the child” (Gardner, 1992, p.64). Rather , in typical cases the alienated parent would be considered by most evaluators to have been normal, loving parent or at worst, exhibited “minimal impairments in parenting capacity” (Gardner 1992, p.64; 1998; 1999). It is the exaggerating of minor weakness and deficiencies by a child that is the hallmark of PAS.

The Children

When bona fide abuse is present, the PAS diagnosis is not applicable. No single child is going to exhibit all of the symptoms of PAS; rather, the symptoms can be divided into mild, moderate, and severe categories. For example, the severely alienated child is obsessed with “hatred of a parent” (Gardner, 1992, p.64). The denigration of the parent often has the quality of a litany: “I hate him and I never want to see him again” because “he scares me.”  The once revered parent is now referred to as “boring” and “mean”. The child has no memory of any happy, good, or positive times prior to the alienated  parents departure.                                                                                                                              The relationship between the alienated parent and child is fragile in these families even if it was a positive prior to the separation. Children have a diminished ability to maintain healthy boundaries and relationships when brought into conflict in a custody battle.

Dr.     Stahl  (1999) suggest children are most susceptible to alienation when they are passive and dependent and feel a strong need to psychologically care for the alienating parent. In both the child and alienating parent, there is a sense of moral outrage at the alienated parent and there is typically a fusion of feelings between the alienating parent and child such that they talk about the alienated as having hurt “us” (Stahl, p., 1999,p.4) Dr Stahl believes the children in such family’s are likely to develop a variety of pathological symptoms which can include.

1)      Splitting in their relationships;

2)      Difficulties in forming relationships;

3)      A lack of ability to tolerate anger in other relationships;

4)      Psychosomatic symptoms;

5)      Conflicts with authority figures;

6)      An unhealthy sense of entitlement that leads to social alienation in general.

It is important for the evaluator to make an attempt to divide children with manifestations of PAS into mild, moderate and severe categories. As it is true of all psychiatric disorders, there is a continuum from the mildest through to the moderate, to the most severe.

Manifestations of the Alienating Parent in PAS

It is not unusual for one to see a family in which the allegiance of the children has been “split”. One or more children may side with the mother and one or more children may side with the father. However, it is in the introduction of the children’s own scenarios, which warrant the PAS designation. “Obviously, the custody dispute threatens this bond and there is the omnipresent risk of its interruption, attenuation and possibly even its ultimate obliteration.” (Gardner, 1992,p.121)

Parents with Mild PAS

The Alienating parents with mild PAS are healthy enough not to involve themselves in courtroom litigation in order to gain primary custody. These parents recognize that alienation from the other parent is not in the best interests of their child and make a more conciliatory approach to the alienated parent’s request. However, some manifestations of programing are visible in the alienating parent in order to strengthen their position. “There is no paranoia here, but there is anger and there be some desire for vengeance”…………..These parent are typically entrenched in their position and feel they are in an unequal situation with the other parent” (Gardner, 1992,p.154.

Parents with Moderate PAS

This is about the Parent not the child. These parents exhibit rage and paranoia in severe cases. Their rage may stem from feelings of abandonment by the other parent (Roseby,1993;1998). These parents are able to differentiate between sexual/physical abuse allegations that are preposterous and those that are not. Nonetheless, there is a campaign of denigration and a significant desire to withhold the child from the other parent as a vengeance manoeuvre. These parents will find a variety of excuses to interfere with or circumvent visitation. These parents may be unreceptive to complying with court orders; however, they will often comply with threats of sanctions or transfer of custody. For example, when a sex allegation occurs, these parents are able to differentiate between the child’s obviously “coached” claims of abuse and those that may have validity. The parents in this category are more likely to have been good child-rearers prior to the separation/divorce. In contrast, the parent in the severe category had serious impairments in child rearing capacity/divorce.

Parents with Severe PAS

The alienating parent in PAS, severe type, often manifest psychopathic elements. Their manoeuvres may be sadistic in an attempt to totally eliminate the alienated parent.           According to Gardner, (1992; 1998; 1999) the (severe) alienating parents “cruel manoeuvres are often derivatives of psychopathological process that become incorporated into the alienating parents programming resulting in exclusionary procedures of the alienated parent.                       In severe PAS, these parents are often fanatics. They will frequently use every mechanism at their disposal (Legal and illegal) to prevent visitation with the alienated parent. The Alienating parents are obsessed with antagonism and anger towards the other parent. “In many cases they are paranoid” (Gardner, 1992, p.150).

 Frequently, the paranoia that becomes so apparent did not exhibit itself prior to the breakup of the relationship or marriage, but may now be the manifestation of the psychiatric deterioration seen in the context of custody/divorce disputes (Gardner, 1992 p.150). The alienating parent sees the other parent as having much noxious quality’s, which actually exist within themselves. These alienating parents project these unacceptable qualities onto the other parent so they can consider themselves as the innocent victims.

Alienating parents in severe PAS cases do not respond to logic, confrontation with reality or appeals to reason. They truly believe their preposterous scenarios. It takes skilled mental health examiner to maintain a therapeutic relationship with the entire family. Frequently, there is no evidence for the alienating parent’s accusations. This includes even a court decision that the alienated parent is not guilty of the allegations made by the alienating parent. The children severe PAS joins and shares in the paranoid fantasies about the alienated parent with the alienating parent. These children may become panic-stricken   over the prospect of vesting the other parent. Visitation frequently becomes impossible.

Internalrocesses Involved in Alieating

The below definitions and examples may help the reader understand the alienating parents internal processes.

Reaction formation is an unconscious process whereby an individual controls what he or she believes to be unacceptable feelings or impulses by establishing behaviour patterns, which are directly opposed to the unacceptable feelings, or impulses. Even though the original impulse is repressed, it is believed to continue to exist unconsciously   in its original form and I thus, “likely to emerge under some circumstances” ( Reber, 1995). An alienating parent may cover his or her feelings about the other parent and use anger as the mechanism to cover up affection. It is very important to understand that many alienating parents may not be loving towards the child, but rather may ostensibly campaign against the other parent in there so called attempt to “protect the child from harm by the alienated parent” (Gardener, 1992).

 A healthy parent, a parent who truly loves his/her child, appreciates the importance of the noncustodial parent in the life of their child and, with the exception of the genuinely abusing parent, facilitate meaningful contact between the child and their former spouse. Parental deficiency is a manifestation of PAS and is not in the child’s best interests. The alienating parents apparent obsessive love of their child may often be an attempt to cover up their underlying hostility (Lund,J., Sullivan, M,. 1996)

Projection    

The mechanism of projection is often operative for many of the alienating parents, particular the moderate and severe categories. (Rand, 1977).   Projection is an unconscious process by which a person’s own traits, emotions, or dispositions are ascribed to another. Frequently, there is denial that these feelings or tendencies exist. Projection functions as a defence mechanism to protect the alienating parent from the underlying conflict and feelings that have been repressed.    The alienating parent attributes to the other parent tendencies and practices, which are unlikely, if not impossible, and are products of their own imaginations. The alienating parent can then consider him or herself free of odious behavior (Gardner, 1992, 1998). For example, an alienating parent attributes inappropriate touching of a child to the alienated parent.          Mental health professionals believe the alienating parent may be able to correct the distorted thinking by logic and confrontation with reality. However, if this does not occur and the belief becomes fixed and unswerving in spite of confrontation, then the term paranoid is well warranted” Gardner, 1992, p.126).

Many accusations are conscious and deliberate: however, in other cases subconscious and unconscious factors are operative, especially projection. This is primarily  observed in PAS, severe type. For example, an alienating parent’s own suppressed and repressed sexual fantasies are projected onto the child and the other parent. There may be accusations of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and/or domestic violence without evidence.        More To Come